Simply Complicated

you can't choose who to love.
you can't choose when to love.
you can't choose how to love.
you can't choose love.
if we can, believe me..
i was a smart girl, but voila!
i'm going dumber *or even dumberer!* until i fell in love with this guy... :p

it just comes to you when you least expected *ehm... even if you didn't want to!*.

it comes to you when the mood is right, the aura is right, and the chemistry is right.

you can't choose love.
but..
why does it still hurt?
why does it make you do crazy things?
why does it make you think irrationally?
why is it difficult to accept it?
why love complicates things sometimes.. while it simplifies others?

I'm trying to fall in love again.
when i find those knots in my stomach.
when i want to be with that other person every single time i have.
when i crave to let him being the first person i saw in the morning.
when having him hug me tight is the best moment of the day, yet.. telling him how i feel would complicate things...

it's like.. the best feeling in the world but it's the worst feeling when still wondering how he feels.
*when we have a BIG question mark : is it that much? orr... being a paranoid android girl just figured out that he didn't feel the same feeling towards us..*

simply, it's just complicated.

i'm not an expert in the love subject ..
and i know i still have a LOT to learn *and still need people slap my face over & over again*

but i know one thing...

you should say love with all your heart, not because it was the right thing to do.

i'm not a romantic, and i don't like having a guy to say those three little words to me everyday ...
cuz when he says it once in a while *and at the right moment* that's when it means the most.

so do i, when i'm not feeling it, i better go with the 'i miss you's... :p

cuz it will always be right there.. everytime the mood is right, the aura is right and the chemistry is right..
and it's best when u didn't try very hard to make everything's right.

ok, that's it!
said & done!
i better publish this crappy writing before i change my mind to delete it.
:p